Bondara – The Best Online Store For Your Sex Toy Purchases

When speaking of sex toys and aids, there might be a good shop near you. However, when it comes to the huge selection and efficiency of the products, there is only one best name. That is one of UK’s most successful online sotres, which is Bondara..

As we know, different ages and sexes have different needs when it comes to sex toys. The good news is that Bondara knows well about this. This is the reason why the range of their products are awesome from vibrators, dildos, male and women sex toys, sexy lingerie, bondage gears, anal toys to sex gears. Actually, the collection of products in this local store has come out to be over a million already.

Why Go For Bondara

Besides the convenience in shopping that Bondara provides, there are a lot of other great benefits that this shop offers. Just like other online stores, you can take advantage of great discounts and price slash offs from the items that you want simply by using a Bondara offer code, Bondara discount codes or the promotional code that you can get from money-off vouchers for Bondara. Here, check out these great offers Bondara has in store for you:

Delivery. One of the best reasons as to why you need to stay with Bondara is their way of delivery. For one, they have low shipping rates and can even offer free delivery service if you order reach up to 39.99 Euros. What’s more, this online shop is very discreet about the client’s privacy. The package you will receive will not contain any logo of Sex products. Indeed, talking about affordability and privacy, Bondara has it both to offer you. Much more, they have a same day shipping policy.

Reputation. This online shop is indeed a trusted online company that undergoes monitoring from SafeBuy. With this, you can have peace of mind when doing your shopping here.

Billing. The good news about this shop is that even in your bills, they still think about your privacy. Actually, you will see the name Nagook Ltd reflecting on your credit card or bank account statement rather than Bondara.

With all these, you can leave your doubts about trusting Bondara for your purchase of sex toys and aids. Indeed, if you try to shop here, there are a lot more great things you can discover from this shop.

Where To Get Discounts

What is amazing about Bondara is that they offer cheap sex toys for different needs. The website has a section dedicated to the cheapest of all their products in the market. Imagine, their bestsellers such as the Ultimate Jessica Rabbit Waver, MasterB Vibro-Cate Harrington, and Purple Pearl Rabbit Vibrator can all be purchased in less than 40 Euros.

Moreover, at a regular basis, there are Bondara offer code, money off vouchers for Bondara, Bondara UK discount code that you can make the best use of. To get any kind of Bondara offer code, what you only need to do is become a member of the company. Then, you can receive great discounts to all of your future purchases in the site. If you provide your email, you can always receive the shop’s newsletter containing special Bondara UK discount codes. You can also get these Bondara offer code, money off vouchers for Bondara, Bondara UK discount code by searching them in the Internet.

Indeed, what else can you be looking for in a sex toy shop? With the wide selections, convenience, affordability, and privacy they promise, everything you need is already in here.

Sexual Abuse Attorneys

The term sexual abuse usually refers to any sexual act that is improper and against the law such as rape and sexual assault. Sexual abuse typically happens between a child and an adult. Sexual abuse attorneys represent victims of sexual abuse by priests and other officials of the Catholic Church. Since the 1990s, thousands of individuals have come forward to seek help for incidents that involve the following:

Physical Sexual Abuse (fondling, genital contact, masturbation, and intercourse)
Non-Physical Sexual Abuse (exposure, pornography, and voyeurism)

In most cases, the sexual abuse acts are ongoing and the destructive effects often follow victims into adulthood. A great number of adults across the U.S. are still suffering from mental and physical effects of clergy abuse that include: shame, guilt, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, sleep problems, sexual dysfunction, and self-destructive behaviors. The effects that victims have to deal with for years may not be banished or the events when abuse happened reversed, but they may be able to find closure through the help of attorneys who have experience with sexual abuse cases.

Sexual Abuse Victims Can Obtain Compensations

Victims have legal rights to seek justice and get settlement for the damages inflicted on them by priests or clergy members. Justice often means taking the perpetrators into account for their abusive actions toward their victims; and, in most cases, pay restitution as well.

The Role of the Catholic Church

For many decades, church leaders have tried to keep the clergy abuse cases quiet and out of the public eye. The victims are ignored or paid out to remain silent; while the abusive priests were transferred from parish to parish or sent to undergo brief periods of counseling. But in recent years, as more and more of victims are coming forward; church officials are finally forced to acknowledge the systemic problem and to offer public apologies to victims. The Catholic Church was shamed and offered settlements to cases brought by abuse victims. With the help of sexual abuse attorneys, hundreds of millions of dollars had been paid to victims.

It is hard to put a dollar amount on the pain and suffering inflicted to victims, who were children and youngsters and who had looked up to their priests and clergy members with trust and respect. The innocence they lost can never be restored but obtaining a chance to voice their grievances and receiving financial compensation can help them find peace of mind and rebuild their lives.

Science Supports the Need for Casual Sex Flirting

Casual sex movies make it all seem so easy. Two people meet up at a bar, share a quick drink, and then are seen passionately bouncing off hallway walls as they try to get each other’s clothes off. But is it really all so simple? And if it is, then why aren’t all bar room hallways bursting at the seams with horny hookups? The answer is…they’re not and the science behind attraction and a woman’s desire for casual sex gives a little insight into why.

In several studies, the original one conducted in 1989 and a follow-up one conducted more recently, both men and women were asked if they would have casual sex with a platonic friend – a friends with benefits arrangement – or if they would have casual sex with a complete stranger. In both studies it showed that men were more likely to agree to a quickie than their female counterpart. So if you are a man and want to get a more favorable response to the question, “Will you go to bed with me?” there are few basic things that you need to understand about the women who are most likely to say yes.

Whether you meet a potential partner through an adult online dating site, through a friend, or in a pub, the basics of getting that person to agree to a one night stand or no strings attached relationship include a little flirting. Yes, even with casual sex you need a little flirting.

Science has suggested two theories explaining what women look for. The first theory reaches back to our caveman roots and the evolutionary reasons for having sex – survival of the species. In this explanation the woman needs to be choosy about their hook up mate since they expect them to stick around to help change diapers and buy formula. They want a man they can depend on.

The second theory is one that we can better get our minds around when talking about casual sex and that is the Pleasure Theory. We are all hardwired to pursue pleasure. This is the type of wiring that you guys need to stand up and take notice of. Yes, woman will be more likely to say yes to a casual relationship when they perceive that they are going to get a little pleasure from it…or more likely, a lot of pleasure. Women want to orgasm and they will be more willing to give it a shot with a guy (or girl) that is likely to provide it.

So let’s put the two theories together and create a better mousetrap. Guys, if you want casual sex then you need to convince a woman that they can depend on you to give them an orgasm!

How is this done? Well, to discover that you may just want to follow me and get some advice on some good old fashioned flirting and seduction. That is something that never goes out of style no matter if it’s casual sex or true love sex that you are after.

Erotic Adult Lingerie For Women

Often women are so immersed in their outward appearance that they start neglecting what is within. This is the case with many of us women, who are interested in beautifying themselves from the very core, always pay special attention to their choice of under garments. Adult lingerie always had a great role to play in women’s lives.

Adult lingerie comes in a wide variety of sizes and shape. So whether you are a skinny sexy lass or a plus size with alluring curves you can easily choose your adult lingerie from this wide range of sizes. They also offer you to choose from a variety of designs and cuts.

Whereas some stick to your body like a wet swim suit, some may drape around your curves smoothly like a piece of cloth. Some of them are designed especially for special dresses to be worn by you in different occasions. For example you should wear a strapless bra with an off shoulder dress and similarly. Women of today know very well how important it is to match the under wear with your dress.

It is not just the color but also the design and cut of the dress that determine the kind of under wear that should be worn with it in order to look hot and sexy. The wrong underwear can ruin your effort of dressing up completely! So make sure you pick the right adult lingerie when you wear something out of the ordinary.

However, then you wear adult lingerie, you should be able to carry it out with perfect ease and confidence. If you are shy and uncomfortable wearing it, the lingerie alone can not make you the hot babe. But if you have the figure and are proud of it, wearing adult lingerie will only enhance the eroticism within you and nothing in this world can stop your partner from getting excited.

In fact, adult lingerie is one of the most effective tools to arouse excitement in your partner if things have just got stagnated for sometime. Kinky underwear and sexy bras can make him drool and bring back the passion that he had when he met you for the first time.

They can easily spice up your life in a unique way! So if you are one of those people, who still wear the old fashioned, ordinary, trashy undergarments all the time but are really eager to try out something new and exciting, then it is time for you to switch over to adult lingerie. They will not just change the way you look but also the ay you feel at present. They will rekindle the flame of eroticism in your life and help you to reinvent yourself in a very special way!

Keeping Your Child Safe From Sexual Abuse

Beware of anyone who wants to be with your children more than you do. It surrounds us; everywhere. It acknowledges no boundaries, geographic or cultural. It’s insidious and, at it’s extreme, life threatening. Fighting it is ridiculously simple, yet inexplicably avoided. Child sexual abuse is a criminal behavior that has always been with us and unfortunately always will.

As with overcoming the social reluctance to discuss cancer in the 1960′s, alcohol and drug addiction in the 1970s, the most effective way to counter child sexual abuse is through acknowledging that it exists, educating yourself (which you are doing now) and by talking to your children about it. Seems simple enough, but for some, near impossible. Some parents are embarrassed – for cultural, religious or personal reasons – at the mere thought of speaking to their young children about sex. However sex is the center of our being. As George Michael so famously sang “Sex is natural, sex is good,” and it is in the appropriate setting, between consenting adults. It’s what ensures our survival as a species.

Children have an innate knowledge of their sexuality on their own scale of development. A young child doesn’t need to know the entire life cycle of the birds and the bees; they need to know what is appropriate for their age and emotional level. They need to know what comprises healthy and natural contact with others, particularly adults and more importantly, what does not.

By the age of ten most young children have a fairly good idea of what’s going on. As parents we owe it to them to set them straight before they start trading in the rumors of middle school when they start to hide within their social shell and communication on the subject becomes difficult. By talking frankly to your children you are arming them with the shield of knowledge, self confidence and the ability to protect themselves. Child sexual abuse as a subject needs to be dragged into the sunlight and dealt with as the reality that it is. We have to face the issue head on in order to learn how to eliminate it as a threat to our families and friends. We must face it publicly so the perpetrators of this iniquitous behavior know that they are “on notice”, that they cannot prey on our young.

How prevalent is sexual abuse with children? It’s disturbingly widespread. In some Asian countries child sex abuse is an industry, relied upon for national income. As incredible as that sounds it’s true and it accounts for what is referred to as “sex tourism”. The ‘why’ part of this behavior, is the subject for another article, if indeed there is, or can be, a ‘why”.

Let me set the framework of what we’re dealing with. First let me answer the question most often asked “What are the indicators of child sexual abuse?” Answer: they’re aren’t any. More on this in a minute.

A standard misconception is that most sexual assaults are committed by strangers. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Most sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim or the victim’s family. Another misconception is that the majority of sexual offenders are caught, convicted, and in prison. Not true, only a fraction of those who commit sexual assault are apprehended and convicted for their crimes. In fact, the vast majority of child sex crimes go unreported. Most convicted sex offenders eventually are released to the community under probation or parole supervision.

Here are some core numbers: 90% of children who are sexually abused are abused by someone they know – inside or outside the family. 1 in 4 girls (25%) is sexually abused before the age of 18. 1 in 6 boys (16.5%) is sexually abused before the age of 18. Abusers will victimize as young as infants right up to 16 years old. The amount of sympathy a victim receives is directly proportional to their physical development. An estimated 39 million survivors of childhood sexual abuse exist in America today. This represents a fraction of the true number of abused children. Young victims may not recognize their victimization as sexual abuse. For more statistical information visit the Child AbuseWatch.net website here.

Why are there no tell-tale signs of child sexual abuse? The quick answer is that nature has made vaginas elastic and self-lubricating even in young girls. Anus’s stretch and any lesions quickly heal. Oral abuse does not leave a trace. Semen and sperm disappear fairly quickly. Repeated abusers take care not to hurt the children so as to avoid disclosure. Let’s talk about sexual predators. There are three kinds.

Pedophiles have a sexual preference for children. This in itself does not make them criminals. They get into trouble when they act on their impulses and, for example, start collecting child pornography which is a serious victim-exploiting crime.

If they act on their impulses they become the second type of predator; preferential child sexual abusers. They have no interest in having sex with adults, only children, usually pre-pubescent. These are generally male and have a distinct pattern to their predatory behavior, including recruiting victims – referred to as ‘grooming’ – and retaining them in an ongoing pattern of sexual abuse while ensuring that they do not disclose the abuse. These first two kinds of predators are called preferential; meaning that they have a distinct sexual preference for children.

The third kind is the situational sexual abuser. This abuser is one of opportunity. He or she enjoys having sex with adults and have sex with children when the opportunity arises. For example, when they are left alone with a child, they’re drunk, they’re angry at the child or mother and assault the child to hurt the mother – there’s a long list of reasons. They key word is opportunity.

All three are dangerous to children all the time. What is a distinctive feature in their behavior is their lack of conscience.

How do we identify a predator? Contrary to popular belief, predators do not often skulk around playgrounds in dirty raincoats. They are everyman or everywoman. They live in plain sight among us; sometimes in our own families. They are fathers, mothers, uncles, aunts, friends, doctors, soccer coaches, clergy, boy-scout leaders, police, child care workers, therapists, teachers. Not all of these people are child sex abusers but many child sex abusers choose these professions for access to children. The key word here is access. A particular red flag are single parent families which offer predators’ immense opportunity to have access to children under the guise of dating, marriage or being ‘good to the children.’

An important element in the grooming process is the selection of a victim. Many abusers have multiple concurrent victims and, if left to run their life course un-arrested, some will have had hundreds if not thousands of victims in their lifetime. They ‘court’ the child the way adults court each other in a romantic relationship. Gifts, flattery, play, attention, all go into the mix. What the abuser is doing is replacing the parent’s role of providing affection and attention. They often choose as their victims children who have problems communicating with their parents; those whose parents don’t pay enough attention to them. They look to fill that void. They are so good at what they do that parents never suspect their intentions. They also woo the parents to be accepted and trusted with the children. Predators are masters at building relationships. Their biggest problem is not getting the child, it’s getting rid of the child when they become too old and their interest in them wanes.

How do predators and abusers choose their victims? Children in general have certain characteristics that make them ideal victims from the offender’s point of view. Here are some; they are naturally curious; many are easily led by adults particularly when brought up to respect their elders; they have a need for attention and affection (most of us do); some have a need to defy their parents.

The ‘secret.’ As already mentioned recurrent abusers rarely hurt the child as that would encourage disclosure. They encourage the child to understand that the behavior be kept a secret – just between them. They do this by keeping photographs, warning of the embarrassment to the child and family should anyone find our about what has happened; by blaming the child for initiating it; by rewarding the child with gifts and outings; by telling the child that disclosure would break up the family structure; that the sexual abuse is a demonstration of their ‘love’ for the child. On and on. And the child, being a child, believes them. They know no differently. The ‘secret’ is the key component of this disturbing relationship, one that is a cornerstone of a child sexual abusers success and survival.

How do we as parents combat this?

Talk to your children about their bodies and their sexuality; good touching and bad touching. Get over your embarrassment. We are intimately familiar with our genitalia from the moment we are born and curiosity about the same and opposite sex is perfectly normal. And when you get down to it, there’s not that much involved.

Keep the opportunity for one to one contacts between your child and other adults or adolescents to zero. If there is no opportunity for someone to be alone with your child there will be no opportunity for abuse. Be present at doctor visits; at the soccer game; at music practice. Nobody but you has the right to be alone with your child.

Empower your child by acknowledging the presence of their own “inner voice”, the sense they innately possess that something “feels” wrong. And tell them that only they have the power to act when they feel a circumstance is not right irrespective of who is involved. They must know and trust that you will support their actions.

Talk to your family and friends frequently about the subject. Take personal responsibility for your child, don’t delegate it to anyone else. Keep the lines of communication open with your children no matter how hard it can be. That’s their lifeline. Encourage your children’s school to have someone come and talk to parents about this subject. Finally if you suspect sexual abuse of your children or other children report it immediately. That is your responsibility. If you’re wrong you can always apologize. You name is never disclosed. Depending on your area 911 is probably the best first number to call; they’ll give you the abuse hotline number.

An easy to remember acronym to help you remember the elements of keeping your children safe is TOPER – Talk to your children, family and friends. Eliminate Opportunity by not allowing anyone one-to-one access alone with your child, be Present for your child, Empower your children, Report suspected abuse immediately. TOPER. One last word. Predators will do whatever it takes to get access to children including dating or marrying a woman with children; marrying in order to have and abuse his own children; offering to baby-sit the neighbors kids or pick them up from school. They’ll do whatever it takes. For them it’s an urge, an impulse, an obsession, a drive, an incurable compulsion.

Sex Instructional Videos – Watch and Learn!

Although it’s evident that people nowadays are educated in the matter of sex, there are still those who need a little bit of help in that department. Whether you’re just starting out to become sexually active, or you’re in a relationship with a dwindling sex life, sex instructional videos may just be the thing you need. Sex can become quite a sensual and pleasurable activity, as long as you know exactly what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. Let sex instructional videos teach you a thing or two, and who knows? You might just discover as whole new side to you.

Sex instructional videos are great as it can help you spice up your bedroom routine with your lover. With different tips and techniques that you can learn from these videos, you’ll be able to become a better sexual partner. These videos can also help you let go of your inhibitions and your partner’s as well and teach you to be more confident in your own skin, no matter what body type you have. And because it’s highly recommended that you watch sex instructional videos with your lover, it can also possibly help strengthen the relationship.

You may be thinking, what makes sex instructional vids any different from porn videos? Though both videos will show people having sexual intercourse, you’ll actually learn something from instructional videos as it usually includes a narrative or a step by step guide. Whereas sex instructional videos aim to give you a better understanding of your body and how you can work it during sex, porn on the other hand will just show people having sex. If you think that sex is just like what you’ve seen on porn movies, you’ll be surprised to know that there is more to it than just the act itself. There’s foreplay, there’s romance and there are techniques that can help you make the whole act a mind blowing experience.

If you’re interested to know how you can your hands on sex instructional videos, you have a few choices. Depending on where you live and how your culture perceives sex, you might find it really easy or a bit challenging to acquire these videos. If you have an adult bookstore or a sex shop in your community, you can start your search there. You can also check stores that sell movies and DVDs and look for the adult section.

You can also look for online sites that sell sex instructional vids if you want to shop in the comforts of your own home. Although you’ll find a wide selection of different titles and types online, do take your time in choosing a video for you. Make sure that you check the production company and the description thoroughly if you don’t want to end up with cheap porn that was packaged as an instructional video. Look up reviews on which titles would be best suited for you. Don’t forget to ask your lover’s opinion on which titles to get so that you can come to a mutual agreement on what type of instructional video would best benefit you both.

Can a Sex Instructional Video Help Improve Your Love Life?

Whether you’re young or old, rich or poor, sex is probably one of the most talked about, if not controversial, topics in the whole world. Everyone needs sex, not just for procreation, but for pleasure and strengthening of a relationship as well. You can’t talk about romantic love without including sex in the equation so if you’re currently in a relationship and you want to make your love story last, you should definitely start working on your sex life. But how do you start? Though you’ll find a lot of great ideas online on how you can spice up your love life, there is really only one way that can help you take your sex life up a notch. Want to know what a sex instructional video can do for your relationship? Then don’t hesitate to read on.

Assuming that you and your lover both have open minds towards this subject, a sex instructional video can do wonders for your relationship. But do bear in mind that this option isn’t for everyone. If you’ve just started dating, make sure to have an open discussion with your partner on how he or she feels about using this sort of videos. This way, you’ll be able to avoid causing offense or any awkward moments that may lead to future misunderstandings in the relationship.

Helps You Become A Better Lover

Sure a sex instructional video may not be a necessity in making a relationship work, but it can help you make it stronger. A sex instructional video can help you become a better lover as it can provide you with tips and techniques that will make every sexual encounter worthy to be remembered. From oral techniques to different sex positions, you’ll be able to reinvent yourself as the ultimate lover once you’re done watching the video.

Allows You To Open Your Line Of Communication

Another benefit that you can get from incorporating the sex instructional video into your bedroom routine is that you’ll get a much more open communication line between you and your partner. Just by watching the video together, you’ll feel much more comfortable expressing what you want sexually and your partner will be more open to tell you what he or she would like to try out. When used properly, a sex instructional video will be able to help you form a stronger bond emotionally and physically.

If you’re interested in purchasing sex instructional videos, there are a number of ways that you can easily get your hands on them. First off, check out what your local adult bookstores or sex shops have on offer. Although these shops usually have an extensive line up of different adult videos that you can choose from, make sure that you choose a sex instructional video and not just a porn flick. If you’re not comfortable with the idea of visiting these shops or you just don’t have the time, start your search online instead. The great thing about purchasing online is that you not only have access to a wide array of different titles, but you’ll also get to shop anonymously.

Watching Adult Sex Videos Together – Movies Make Magic

Although they still have a stigma for many people, watching adult sex videos with your spouse can be a really great way to improve your marriage sex. Available in as many different varieties as there are types of people in the world, you can watch everything from very basic, “soft porn” as it is called to more graphic and experimental types of adult films. Sensual and erotic imagery is both visually and mentally arousing and may even plant an idea or two in your minds for what you would like to try with one another. Rather than being something that only single men watch in the dark, by themselves, while they masturbate, adult films are actually a really effective type of foreplay for many married couples.

Many couples may secretly want to watch an adult film together, but are hesitant because they are afraid to suggest it to their mate. For some women, there is a fear that their husband will find the women on film more attractive than they find them. For some men, there is concern that their wives may be turned off or find fault with their arousal. The reality is that watching adult films together can be a real bonding experience. It may take several tries to find a particular genre of adult film that works for you both, but in most cases, just the simple act of being “naughty” and watching other people getting physical is enough to start something fun for the married couple watching.

If you and your spouse have decided to watch an adult sex video together, then you should discuss what kinds of films are “OK” and which ones are “off limits”. For instance, your spouse may be uncomfortable watching a film that depicts more than one partner at a time. The object of watching an adult sex video together is to get one another turned on, not turned off, so be sensitive to one another’s preferences. One of the benefits of watching a sex video together is that you may get ideas for positions to try out. Also, having the noise in the background may also help lower your spouse’s inhibitions when it comes to expressing their pleasure vocally.

If you are looking for an easy way to improve your marriage sex life, watching adult sex videos together is a great way to start. Sit back, relax, pop in a video and let nature take its course. You may find that you are having the hottest sex of your marriage, in no time flat!

Have Fun With Adult Dating Services

When it comes to the dating game, a number of things should be considered as adult dating isn’t the simplest thing in the world; for example, the title itself doesn’t mean have fun while dating adults, but it represents the erotic aspect of the dating game. Still, the important part of the game is to have fun by allowing your naughty side to come out and play; women looking for fun may wear tight clothing or low cut tops to reveal a bit of cleavage and show men what they are missing. A more exposed area of the body would be the neck region, which is highly sensitive and the right kiss can give women sensations that leave them wanting more. However, adult dating isn’t purely about the need for sexual satisfaction but exploring other people’s bodies, fantasies and different types of pleasure.

When you’re in a club or bar on the weekend, you enjoy your time out with friends, colleagues etc; in the same way, you can become the perfect date by relaxing and enjoying what you are doing, rather than focusing on why you are here; good dancers and cooks love cooking and dancing, this is why they are good at their professions. A more simple explanation of this would be that when you love and enjoying doing what you do, you tend to spend more time and effect doing it to get the best results possible. Look at the way gamers play video games, they spend endless hours in front of the t.v trying to get a higher score because they know the results will be rewarding; similarly, adult dating should be enjoyed and seen as a fun encounter- who knows what it could lead to. You may even end up meeting your life partner!

Although a lot of you date to meet your prospective life partners, date because it’s fun, not because you have to. If it is not fun, then would you bother doing it?! No right? If you don’t enjoying dating then don’t just sit through another gruesome date, change it by doing something different. For those of you, who want to cut to the chase and forget the wining and dining part, try erotic adult dating, which is exactly what it says on the tin-EROTIC. It’s a form of dating that doesn’t require dating; a bedroom, sexy lingerie and explicit fantasies will do.

Just a few last points for you to consider- when you date because you enjoy it you allow others to feel good about themselves, also giving you a more than likely chance of a second or third date. When you represent yourself as a fun and happy person, other people will love to bag a date you and before you know it, you’ll be the most popular person in town. If this article sounds too good to be true, than go ahead and try enjoying your next date, you’ll come back thanking the author.

Common Myths About Child Sexual Abuse and Incest

The first response the majority of people form when hearing of sexual child abuse or incest is denial: “I do not have to be concerned about that in my community.” “That would never happen in my family.”

The unbelievable reality is that a person who sexually abuses children may seem very average and ordinary to the world. He/she may be a leader in the church, in the community or in business, a sports coach, scout leader, or celebrity. Sex offenders do not fit a classic stereotype and are not necessarily uneducated, unemployed, impoverished or an alcoholic.

The majority of people find sexual abuse and incest even more difficult to believe or accept when the sex offender is someone they like, admire, love, and/or marry. Tragically, the unwillingness to accept the facts concerning sex offenders leaves children vulnerable to becoming victims and increases the likelihood they will be abused.

Myth: Rape/incest runs in the family–it is in the genes.

Fact: Rape is not in the genes in the family of someone who rapes. Rape is perpetrated by someone who is acting out rage. Physical and sexual child abuse are the majority factor in creating the level of rage that compels anyone to commit rape, domestic violence or murder. We have known for a long time that the one commonality among rapists is physical and/or sexual child abuse. Serial killer, Ted Bundy is a classic example of this phenomenon. Since 80% of sexual child abuse survivors are sexually abused by family members there are usually several generations within a rapist’s family–sometimes both maternal and paternal. Current statistics reveal 70% of children are physically abused once a week. It is believed the number of children who are physically abused has decreased in the past 15 years. However, the current rapists in society would have grown up in the era when physical abuse was more prominent, therefore, we can assume there is a high percentage of people, who are potential rapists when we consider date rape and rape in domestic violence, which is seldom reported or if it is reported, is seldom prosecuted. Therefore, society has no way to access the number of rapes committed per capita.

Myth: Children lie or fantasize about sexual activities with adults.

Fact: Using developmental terms, young children cannot make up explicit sexual information. They must be exposed to it to speak about it. Sometimes a parent will coach a child to report sexual abuse falsely. The key indicators of the falseness in such a report are the child’s inability to describe explicit details, the inability to illustrate the act, or gross inconsistencies within the account.

Myth: Most victims of sexual abuse are teenaged girls.

Fact: While more girls than boys are sexually abused, many are abused before their first birthday.

Myth: Boys can’t be sexually abused.

Fact: Masculine gender socialization instills in boys the belief they are to be strong; they should learn to protect themselves. In truth, boys are children and are as vulnerable as girls. They cannot really fight back against the sex offender. A sex offender generally has greater size, strength, knowledge, or a position of authority, using such resources as money or other bribes, or outright threats–whatever advantage the sex offender can take to get what they want.

Myth: Sexual abuse of a child is usually an isolated, one-time incident.

Fact: Child sexual abuse and incest occurrences develop gradually, over time; often, repeat occurrences are generally the rule rather than the exception.

Myth: Children will naturally outgrow the effects of sexual abuse or incest.

Fact: Sexual abuse or incest affects every aspect of human development. The damage is profound, extensive and pervasive. It is deeper than the physical and emotional level–it is a soul injury that requires multifaceted, multidimensional, therapeutic processing conducted by a professional who specializes in sexual abuse and incest trauma recovery.

Myth: Non-violent sexual behavior between a child and an adult is not emotionally damaging to the child.

Fact: Although child sexual abuse often involves subtle rather than extreme force, all survivors experience confusion, shame, guilt, anger, as well as a lowered sense of self-esteem; these are classic aftereffects, although they may not initially reveal obvious signs.

Myth: Child molesters are all, ‘Dirty old men.’

Fact: In a recent study of convicted child sex offenders, 80% committed their first offense before age 30.

Myth: Children provoke sexual abuse by their seductive behavior.

Fact: Seductive behavior may be the result, but is never the cause of sexual abuse. Amy Fisher, the Long Island teenager who shot her sex offender’s wife in the face and whom the media dubbed, Lolita having an affair with a married man, is a perfect example of this myth. During her trial for attempting to kill Joey Buttafuoco’s wife, Amy Fisher revealed that she had been sexually abused before her abuse by Buttafuoco. Her behavior that many considered seductive and promiscuous was, in fact, a result of prior abuse. However, regardless of the victim’s behavior or reason for such behavior, the responsibility for appropriate behavior always lays with the adult, not the child. A sixteen-year-old girl is no match for the cunning and streetwise tactics of a man twice her age, therefore, the ability to affect adult consent is unreasonable to expect.

Myth: If children wanted to avoid sexual advances of adults, or persons in positions of greater power, they could say, stop or no.

Fact: Children generally do not question the behavior of adults. In addition, bribes, threats, flattery, trickery and use of authority coerce them into cooperation and compliance.

Myth: When a child is sexually abused, it is immediately apparent.

Fact: In cases of incest against children, as much as the sex offender might be hurting the victim, the child loves him or her and needs her family. Therefore, she convinces herself that she is somehow causing him or her to behave this way, and she remains silent. In her confusion of loyalty to her sex offender, she protects him or her by holding the secret. Thus, she carries the shame and guilt. In cases regarding sexual abuse and incest, the victim often believes that she has cooperated with the sex offender in some way and places inappropriate blame on herself. Therefore, although with tremendous suffering, she hides her pain through denial, dissociation, numbing, zoning out, hyperactivity, as well as other distracting behaviors. However, the aware parent would recognize these behaviors as a sign that something is wrong.

Myth: When the sexual abuse victim is male, male homosexuals are the sex offenders.

Fact: Heterosexual men, who do not find sex with other men satisfactory, perpetrate most child sexual abuse. Many child molesters, even though they are heterosexual, abuse both boys and girls.

Myth: Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual.

Fact: Whether victimized by males or females, boys or girls, premature sexual experiences are damaging in many ways, including confusion about their sexual identity and orientation.

Myth: When a boy and a woman take part in sexual behavior and it is the boy’s idea, he is not being abused.

Fact: Child abuse is an act of power by which an adult uses a child. Abuse is abuse; a woman engaging in sexual behavior with a male child is still sexually abusive, even if she thinks he initiated the contact.

Myth: If the sex offender is female, the boy or adolescent is fortunate to have been initiated into heterosexual activity.

Fact: Premature or coerced sex, whether by a mother, aunt, sister, babysitter or other female causes confusion, at best, and rage, depression or other problems in more negative circumstances. Whether male or female, to be used as a sexual object is always abusive and damaging.

Myth: If the child experiences sexual arousal or orgasm from abuse, he or she has been a willing participant or enjoyed it.

Fact: Children can respond physically to stimulation (get an erection) even in traumatic or painful sexual situations. A sex offender can maintain secrecy by labeling the child’s sexual response as an indication of his or her willingness to participate. You liked it, you wanted it. The survivor is then manipulated with their own guilt and shame because they experienced physical arousal while being abused. Physical, visual or auditory stimulation is likely to occur in a sexual situation. It does not mean the child wanted the experience or understood what it meant.

Myth: Males who were sexually abused as boys all grow up to sexually abuse children.

Fact: Only some sexually abused boys become sex offenders.

Myth: Boys are less traumatized as victims of sexual abuse than girls.

Fact: Studies show that long-term effects are equally damaging for either sex. Ironically, males may be more damaged by society’s refusal or reluctance to accept their victimization, and by their own resultant belief that they must ‘tough it out’ in silence.

Myth: If a child is sexually active with his or her peers, then it is not sexual abuse.

Fact: The act is abusive if the child is induced into sexual activity with anyone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the sex offender’s age, size, status, or relationship. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated.

Unless and until, society focuses on sexual child abuse prevention, before the damage is done, sexual abuse of children will continue to proliferate. Child sexual abuse is the greatest hidden epidemic in the world.

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